How Can I Use Reverse Psychology to Get My Girlfriend Back?

Lisa R. Parker

Give up your girl without a fight? No way. You might be able to use reverse psychology to get your girlfriend back. Reverse psychology is a technique where you say or do the opposite of what you really believe or mean, in order to get your girlfriend to do what you want her to do – while allowing her to think that she’s doing what she wants, as opposed to what you want.

Reverse psychology is a tricky form of manipulation. If you do it right, reverse psychology can get your ex girlfriend back.

Can I get my girlfriend back by agreeing with her?

It might be too late to try this method, because it works best right at the moment when your girlfriend says that she’s been thinking that you guys need some time apart, time away from each other.

Much as it hurts you, you could say that you were “…just thinking the same thing.” Say that you need space, and it might be better for you guys to separate. That way you’re agreeing with her, and she feels like she’s losing something. She loses all the power in this scenario, because you’re just nodding and smiling and agreeing with her.

Can I get my girlfriend back by playing hard to get?

Another form of reverse psychology is playing hard to get. Be unavailable. Act like you don’t care — like you’re not interested in her. Pretending not to care is probably the most common form of reverse psychology in relationships. People always want what they can’t have. If she begins to think that she couldn’t have you even if she did want you, it might make her just want you even more.

Can I get my girlfriend back by forcing her to defend me?

You could get someone you trust, who knows her, to say bad, untrue things about you, so that she’ll feel compelled to defend you. It might make her think, “You know, he wasn’t that bad.” It’ll get her thinking about your good points.

Can I get my girlfriend back by backing away from commitment?

If she has shown signs of being commitment-phobic, then the reverse psychology approach would be that you don’t talk about commitment, ever. Talking about commitment will just scare her away. If you’re making noises about moving in together, your future, getting married, your children, then you’re moving too fast for her. If you’re in a situation where that’s what scared her away, you want to make sure not to do that any more. Let her think you’re moving at the same pace as herself. As she comes to know you better, you can let her be the one to start thinking and talking about commitment before you do.

Can I get my girlfriend back by liking her new boyfriend?

If she has a new boyfriend, reverse psychology would have you say genuinely nice things about her new guy. Convince her that you’re happy for her, no matter how badly you’re hurting inside. This will make you appear to be a stronger person – maybe stronger than you really are. You’ll make her believe that you only want the best for her – which, if you’re in love with her, you do.

Can I get my girlfriend back by being unavailable?

If she needs you for something, be unavailable the first time. For example, if she calls you because needs you to return something of hers, don’t call back right away. In fact, keep busy. Find something more important to do, than think about her. Something for yourself.

This will have the effect of making you seem more desirable, because she can see you as whole without her. You want to define yourself as complete without her, so that she can see the real you.

Find a role model, if you have to. Work on becoming like that person. He doesn’t have to be another real, living guy. He can be a fictional character from a book, movie or tv show – someone you have a lot of respect for, who always gets the girl. Although you want to be “unavailable,” you don’t want to move on to someone else just yet if you’re still interested in getting back with her.

Moving on to someone else will just make it harder, and cause you to hurt your new girl when you get your old one back. There’s no reason to be insincere, or use another girl in order to win back the one you had. That would be mean.

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